The Unloved, Volume 108: Last Action Hero | MSS

The Unloved is nine years old today. My creation is old enough to do basic math and bother people with limited knowledge of the world.

I remember pestering everyone I knew when I was that age with hastily written lists of my favorite movies of all time (I’d seen about 300 by then). John McTiernan’s “Last Action Hero” would have been among them: a regular rental movie, the kind of movie made for a media junkie like me. I wanted to put myself in the shoes of my nine-year-old self again, but I also thought that nine is a pretty big anniversary! Why not grow up? And there’s nothing bigger than “Last Action Hero,” a movie where the producers almost put a billboard on the moon (they got close; they put the poster on an unmanned rocket hull, which cost $500,000) to advertise their massive overproduction. It basically had Arnold Schwarzenegger playing himself, the greatest American action director in the world in John McTiernan, a script with contributions from everyone from Shane Black to Carrie Fisher, and more explosions and gunfights than you could shake a stick at.

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