Dear Abby: Roommate keeps eating my food without asking

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I moved from my mom to an apartment with a friend I’d rekindled a friendship with in high school a few years ago. The first month I noticed she had eaten some of my frozen meals, so I confronted her about it. She started crying and told me she was waiting for a new debit card in the mail and had limited money to get through until the card arrived. I told her she should have said something, and that I would have liked to give her some of my food, but it was rude not to ask, because I rely on those frozen meals for quick and easy lunches at work.

I emptied the meal box and bought a new one. It was a big box with six packages in it. I deliberately left it unopened to see if she would steal food from me again. Look, a month later I went to open the box and saw that she had taken two.

How do I confront her a second time? She doesn’t have a car, so she Ubers to work, which adds up, and she spends hundreds of dollars on her anime hobby. If I can’t trust her with little things like food and snacks, how am I supposed to trust her at all? We just signed a two year lease and I can’t sublet. — HUNGER FOR HONESTY

BEST HUNGER: I’m sorry to say this, but your roommate has proven she can’t be trusted. Are her problems financial or emotional? Cross your fingers and hope she can come with the rent every month. If you can afford it, buy a small refrigerator for your bedroom, install a strong padlock on the door and use it to secure ALL your belongings until the lease expires. If your roommate asks why the lock and refrigerator are being installed, confront her again.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing about the letter you published on April 3rd from “Incredulous in Oklahoma.” She said her boyfriend goes into a deep sleep for three days every two or three weeks, during which time he abuses. Abby, his symptoms may be caused by a rare neurological disorder called Kleine-Levin syndrome. Your readers can learn more about it by going to the website and selecting the Health Information tab to search for this condition. — MARIAM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MARIA: Thanks for the input. Several other readers also mentioned that this disorder could be a possible explanation for the friend’s behavior. When I read her letter, I wasn’t sure if maybe he was wearing something, had an allergic reaction to a drug, or wasn’t feeling well. So I suggested that perhaps he should be examined physically and neurologically by a medical professional.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was not close to his parents. Now that they’re both dead, he mimics them: he wears suspenders like his father, drinks beer in the garage, and has a TV in every room. His screensavers are from ‘Dad’. What is going on? — PERPLEXE WOMAN IN UTAH

DEAR HUSBAND: I think you should carefully ask that question to your husband. He may not realize that he is modeling his father’s behavior. It may be a surefire way to maintain a bond with the dear old father, or proof that an influencing behavior can pass from generation to generation, but don’t create a problem where there isn’t one.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and interacting with peers and parents is in What Every Teen Should Know. Mail your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling charges are included in the price.)

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